Once upon a time, a long, long, time ago, in a far, far, away place, there lived a little boy named Foot Foot.
Foot Foot was a very, very, very, good little boy, except for one tiny little thing. Sometimes, not very often actually, Foot Foot liked to go skiing.
One hot summer day in July, Foot Foot decided to go skiing. However, being a smart little boy, he immediately recognized that he had a few problems. For one thing, it was July and there was no snow. For another thing, where Foot Foot lived, the land was flat for miles and miles around his house. There was no mountain to ski on. Not even a teeny, tiny hill. And Foot Foot did not own any skis or ski boots.
Of course, none of this was going to stop Foot Foot! He had everything that he needed to have a great ski day.
He decided that the slanted roof of his house would make a great ski hill, and he could pull up some floor boards from the living room and make them into skiis, which he could attach to his feet with lots and lots of tape.
After that, Foot Foot took some time to think long and hard about where he could get some ski poles. Finally, after thinking so hard that smoke started coming out of his ears, he decided to use some broom handles for ski poles.
The only other thing that Foot Foot needed was some snow, and he knew just where to get that.
First, Foot Foot decided to make lots and lots of ice in his parent’s freezer. He filled every cup, glass, bowl, jewelry box, and other container that he could find with water. Then, he took all of the food out of the freezer and threw it in the garbage. Finally, he loaded the freezer with all of his containers.
Once the ice was all frozen, he used his father’s electric razor to shave all of the ice that he had frozen into snow flakes, and climbed to the top of his house, out the window, and onto the roof. He spread all of the snow onto the steep roof.
Then, once he had the roof full of snow, Foot Foot climbed back into the house to get his floor-board skis and 51 rolls of tape. After that, he went back onto the roof and taped his skiis to his feet, and grabbed his ski poles.
With one big push, Foot Foot sailed down the roof, up in the air, and finally landed in his swimming pool with a big splash!
He climbed out of the swimming pool and was about to go back into the house to climb up to the roof to do it all again, when his father and mother came home. They were greeted by a dripping wet kid, wearing skis and holding ski poles, who was all excited and saying, “Mommy, daddy, I am having a GREAT time skiing! Thank you for lending me your razor Dad, to make snow! Thank you both for giving me all of our cups, bowls, brooms, tape, and other stuff! You guys are the greatest!
And that is when Foot Foot’s dad recognized the broken floor boards and broken broom handles, and he said, “FOOT FOOT – you are a very bad little boy. Take my floor boards off your feet immediately, if not sooner! Then go to your room and stay there for 14 years, 7 months, 3 weeks, two days, 12 hours, 41 minutes, and 7 seconds.
And that is the end of the story.