Once upon a time, a very, very long time ago, in a far, far, away place, there lived a little boy named Foot Foot. Foot Foot was an extremely good little boy. Except for one, tiny, unimportant thing. Sometimes, just now and then, hardly ever, really, Foot Foot liked to grow stuff.
One day, not long after he flooded his house and his family had to move to the desert, Foot Foot’s parents decided that it would be a good thing to send him to his grandparents for the summer while they fixed the roof of their new house that had gotten damaged from someone skiing on it.
So, off Foot Foot went to visit Pops and his utterly charming wife, Maureen, two farmers who lived way, way, way, out in the country. Pops and Maureen grew stuff. Boring stuff. Like fruits and vegetables. Foot Foot didn’t like those things much.
He enjoyed the part about digging holes in the ground and pushing dirt around. He really loved the trucks, tractors, and other machines. He thought to himself – these people are okay, but they are not all that smart. This farming stuff that they do can be greatly improved. I will show them how. I am going to learn these folks, real good.
So, Foot Foot came up with a secret plan. Every night when Pops and Maureen fell asleep, he went outside behind the house and started doing his own farming. His plan was to grow better stuff and make everyone super proud of him.
Of course, he was a bit worried that Pops and Maureen might hear him using the machines, wake up, and discover what he was up to and tell him to stop, and he certainly did not want to ruin their sleep. So, every night, before he went out to work, he cut the ends off some zucchinis to make ear plugs and carefully fit them into his grandparent’s ears. Then, on his way back into the house he took them out and ate them.
Foot Foot’s plan was to grow much better stuff than asparagus, broccoli, carrots, and other A.B.C. vegetables. He wanted to grow useful things. So, he thought about what he needed and decided that he needed an Ipad. And, just like that, Foot Foot knew what he had to do – he had to grow an Ipad! Unfortunately, Foot Foot had no idea where to get Ipad seeds. So, he decided to do the next best thing – he would just plant a cell phone and let it grow into an Ipad.
And so, Foot Foot borrowed Maureen’s cell phone and carefully planted it in his new garden. Every day, Foot Foot watered the cell phone and pulled the weeds. He walked around singing, “I watered it, I pulled the weeds. Ipads grow from cell phone seeds.”
One day, Maureen was frantically looking for her cell phone while Foot Foot helped her by looking everywhere except in his garden. Finally, Pops decided to call Maureen’s cell phone to see if he could hear it ring. When he did that, he heard a faint ringing sound coming from the back yard. The sound got louder when he went outside, and louder still when Pops put his ear to the ground. Eventually Pops noticed a charging cord coming out of the ground near the banana tree and running into the house. He started digging all around the banana tree until he found the buried cell phone.
Then he called, FOOT FOOT – CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY MAUREEN’S CELL PHONE IS BURIED IN THE BACK YARD? Foot Foot said, “Yes, I certainly can explain that. It is growing into an Ipad. I want to be a farmer, just like you Pops. Isn’t that wonderful? Aren’t you proud of me?
And Pops said, “NO! NO! No! You are an exceptionally bad little boy. And, he ordered Foot Foot to go to his room and stand in the corner for 13 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 43 minutes, and 24 seconds.
And that is the end of the story.